Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Annoying My Guildies Part 2

Occasionally I shall be doing a completely fictitious expose on, guide by, or interview with, one of my guildies. I have of course asked them if I "can use your ingame name so that I can take the piss out of you on my blog". I asked, they said yes, they only have themselves to blame.

SoL In-depth.

Hello and welcome to SoL In-Depth, I'm your host Dirty McMuckraker and today we have a special treat for you as we'll be discussing Bloodthrust one of SoL's regular raiders.

We also have our main source with us today, but he has asked for anonymity so we have disguised his writing and we will be referring to him by the code name ST1.

Let kick things off shall we?

ST1 how would you describe Bloodthrust?

Well that's a bit of a hard question to answer as he's such a ... composite ... personality. I'll have to break it down into a couple of descriptions. First off Imagine a monkey.


Now place that monkey in a very small cage.


Now add about 15 gallons coffee and 100 packets of jelly tots to the monkeys system.


Finally add a large supply of ... monkey product ... for him to fling at unsuspecting people near by, and you have the general impression of Bloodthrust.

You paint a startling picture of one of your core raiders ST1.

Not as startled as our new recruits when he starts flinging his monkey product, I can tell you.

I can imagine ... I'd rather not, but I can.

Now for a more defined view of Bloodthrust. You've probably been to one of those casual get together's that people have right? You know the ones, they start about 4pm, bring the kids kind of affairs. Usually out door eating if the weather is good.

I know the ones.

Well you know that one kid right?

That one kid? I'm not sure I follow you.

You know the one, there's always one, about 4 or 5 years old, cheeky little bugger. By the end of the night he's probably running around in nothing but his T-shirt despite his parents best attempts to stop him. This kid will usually do something horribly disgusting during the party, along the lines of finding some dog doings, placing it on a paper plate, then presenting it to a table full of adults in the middle of eating, with a big ass "look at what I found" grin on his face.

Okaaaaay, I know the one's ... maybe not to that extent, but I know the one's.

Yeah, well that kids Bloodthrust.

Wow ... just wow, I knew I'd be living up to my name tonight but this is just amazing. I think we have a general impression of Bloodthrust now, so lets move on to the next question. How did you meet Bloodthrust?

Well he just kinda turned up in our ventrilo server one day. All quiet like. Just sitting there saying hi to people as we logged on to do instances or whatever. At the time nobody suspected he was a raging monkey hyped up on caffeine and sugar with a pile of product at his disposal. Apparently he was a guildie from way back when SoL was Sentinels of Light, who stopped playing before I joined the guild.

So he just kind of turned up, rolled a deathknight, and got into the raiding team?

Well it was with the release of Wrath of the Lich King, so we were all at the same level when we hit 80 ... but basically, yeah that's right.

Well, what can I say? With all this information it brings us nicely to our next question. For the love of god Why do you keep him around?

A couple of reasons, he tanks so I don't have to, he does good dps when not tanking. But mainly it can be summed up in two words ... Entertainment ... Value. There is nothing quite like watching a new recruit try to raid for the first time with a new guild while dodging monkey product.

My final question is one that as a good muck raker I would normally never ask ... but do you have any proof about his personality?

I have some light documentary evidence. At the time of this screen shot we were discussing his new best in slot tanking boots, and he turns it down hill as only Bloodthrust can.

Then as if to prove his superiority he comes out with this little gem less than a minute later.

There has been a lot more but unfortunately I cannot screenshot vent where most of it happens.

Compelling evidence I must say. There you have it folks one of SoL's regular raider laid bare for you all to see.

That's all from me and our source ST1.

So until next time this is Dirty the Muck Raking Reporter signing off.

I may have gone a little over board with this one, but it's Bloodthrust, he can take it ... at least I hope he can or I'm going to be doing a lot more dodging from now on.

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